RITUALS OF THE ANTITHETICAL Reading: "Sibyl of Doom" from the novel Rituals of the Antithetical (A.Glass 2023)
A year ago.Dialectic Psychiatry.320, 5th Avenue. New York
City
“Good to see you Amelia.”
“Likewise.” A woman
replies,
in her late thirties, holding out her
hand to an
older man in his mid forties. To which he reciprocates.
“Come this way…”
David Elkman says, leading his former student Amelia Saunder down a
narrow walkway to the office at the end of the hallway. “...Watch
the walls…” He turns slightly looking at the dark haired woman
walking beside him. “...They’ve
just been freshly painted…” Reaching forward with his right
hand, he inserts the key into the door clock. “...After five
years, we got a new paint job.” Opening the door, he allows
Saunder to enter his office, following behind, he turns and closes
the door behind them both, as she looks around at the office space,
with its books and collection of Eastern and Western ornaments.
“Coffee, tea?...”
Elkman asks.
“No thank you. Just
water.” She replies.
“...Please take a seat.”
Pointing
at the two chairs facing each other, sitting
down, she
places
her dark brown leather sachet to her right side.
“So, you’re completing
an internship with the New York Courts?”
“Yes,
I mean, it’s been a big leaning curve, but after
another year I hope to have set up my own practice. I was thinking
maybe in Jersey City.”
“No, stay in New York…”
Elkman hands Saunder a glass of water, as he sits opposite her with
a mug of tea.
“...Orrlong tea…” He
has a sip. “...I read a report in Two Thousand and Fourteen,
that Orrlong tea has a got a lot of the amino acid Theanine.
Apparently good for cognitive health. Ah, very nice…” He places
the mug down onto a table to his left side. “...But then again,
Theanine is also in coffee. Rents maybe higher in New York, but
Jersey City, you’ll still have to travel back to the city for the
clients and if court referrals are still on going.”
“Just a thought at this
point,” Saunder replies, reaching down to her sachet with her
right hand and lifting out a folder, to which she places it on her
lap.
“So, you want to discuss
a case?”
“Yes, and thank you for
seeing me.”
Elkman nods in a
professional manner, as Saunder places her glasses on. Opening the
folder in front of her.
“About three months ago I
was appointed by the New York Courts to evaluate a woman who was
brought in on a gun charge. It was quite
a serious charge, she did not have a license for a banned assault
rifle and it was a military grade weapon. She pleaded guilty to the
charge. With a claim to the Judge presiding why she harbored such a
weapon, which was for her own personal safety. She is white and has
no affiliation with gangs or a history of crime...” Taking her
glasses off, she looks at her senior colleague. “...My initial
evaluation to the courts was that she was no danger to society and
that ongoing psychological assistance would be needed with monthly
evaluations made by me. The court was in favor of my report and made
it a final order.”
“Was it Six
months of evaluations?” Her senior colleague asks.
“Yes it was, fortnight
psychological appointments, with a monthly assessment with the
client, after I looked over the appointed psychologist’s brief.”
“And what was your and
the psychologist’s overall diagnoses?”
“Antisocial
Personality Disorder”
“And
you have a concern about your evaluation?”
Elkman asks.
“I do. There was a few
things that I and the psychologist did pick up on. Conclusively, we
believed that she was…” Saunder’s removing her glasses with her
right hand, while placing her left palm on the open file on her lap.
“...manipulating us.”
“Well, then your original
diagnoses would be correct,” Elkman says, sipping from his tea.
Placing her glasses back
on, she looks over the file notes again.
“This is what the
psychologist wanted me to follow up on in relation to the possibility
that there could be both Dissociative Identity and Derealization
Disorder, I just want to read this to you that the psychologist wrote
in a detailed dialogue with the client.
‘You mentioned that
your mother had you when you she was a lot older and that you felt
detached from the family and the other siblings, you were of course
the youngest.’
‘My
mother had me when she was forty years old, she was impregnated by
her lover. That was
my father, I never really knew him. He died, I think in Nineteen
Ninety Five,
drugs. A heroin overdose. He was, Nineteen
when my mother and him were having sex.
I never really felt part of anything, you know family. No
connection to my sister and brother. It
didn't exist.’
‘It
would have been hard not feeling connected to many things growing
up.’
‘I just created a world, actually
more like a realization of what it was always attended for me to be
part of. It
was always there.’
‘Your own place to
reside in?”
‘Its kinda like, I feel disconnected,
detached, removed, but necessary,
for my training and
my discipline. So, rather than being a
negative, it opened up for me. To
my own sliver, a
world between worlds.’
‘Is
this
a spiritual place?’
‘Yes’
‘As a
personal
spiritual practice. What
sort is it?
‘It’s a fusion of the
transgressive esoteric and meditation’
‘Were you taught?’
‘No, I was born of the left-hand.
As I said, the sliver between worlds.
My discipline was aligning myself with the teachings that made sense
to me.’
‘The
left hand?’
‘The unorthodox way’
‘As your
realization?’
‘Yes, like I would visit cemeteries,
dark places, back alleys. It would be a ritual, sometimes I would
trip out a bit…”
‘Drugs?’
‘...Yeah, alcohol mostly.
It was all too
reconnect and release the ghosts of
suffering that would be stored in the structures
around me. I later read about the unorthodox
Hindu sect the Aghori, it seemed similar to what I do, more or less,
as they release the bonds of suffering in the souls of Shiva, through
indulging in unorthodox rituals, sex, alcohol, meat eating.
So, what is interesting to me, is
that my divination holds similarities to other aspects of say
Occultism and esoteric left
hand path teachings, but it is of my own domain. I follow the path
that was already inscribed into my psyche”
‘It is very impressive
that you can achieve this without a spiritual guide or master.’
‘I have always been able to separate
myself from myself, I have had out of body experiences, particularly
with sex and if I need to call on for support, the
self is always there to assist. It’s
all I have ever had.’
Saunder looks up at her
senior colleague.
“I see…” Elkman
replies, contemplating on
the transcript of Essy Zabel and the court appointed psychologist.
“...and you didn’t feel Schizotypal could be an element here?”
He asks.
“I did, but she showed no
hallmarks of paranoia or erratic speech pattern. Rather she was
precise, methodical and balanced in her responses. And while she did
not subscribe to any fixed religious or spiritual template…”
Looking briefly around Elkman’s office at some of the Hindu and
Buddhist ornaments. “...She, with what was disclosed in our
appointments and the transcript I just read, had created or at least
fused Eastern esoteric beliefs, such as magic more specifically a
type of Black
Magic
practice.
“You see Amelia the
objects in this room, I know you are aware. I have traveled to India
and Tibet several times, including China and Japan, but, I would
never see a client in here. For the reasons and depending on that
person’s particular mental syndrome, it would most certainly have
an affect
on the therapy as you would be aware. I had a client several years
ago, female, late thirties, never married, single. Worked in the
finance industry, began to develop a depression with psychosis, she
was bipolar. The Schizotypal developed after she came back from a
trip to India, it further developed, in an unhealthy way, with the
psychosis. She was a drug user, cocaine and amphetamines. The issue
was and remains as a danger to herself, she was suicidal despite the
claim she had magical powers. Was there at any point your client
could have incorporated those obscure spiritual beliefs with the
sessions you had with her? And did you check if drug use could have
impacted her state of mind?”
“My office is very formal
as for the psychologist, I wouldn’t know as I never personally met
her, only as the referral. Our dialogue was over the phone and with
emails. But, I feel that her beliefs were not just conjured up or
influenced through the therapy. Yes, she was a user of alcohol and
psychedelic mushrooms. Both, according to the client were taken only
in a ritualized manner, not together and not regularly. Personally,
I do not feel that drug use has created any psychosis here. I know
what you are implying is that some clients, particularly manipulative
ones can create a role. Is that what you mean?”
“Yes, it is entirely
possible for someone who is feigning elements of delusive
psychological issues, for whatever reasons, more so in a therapy
session as a way of controlling it. And this can occur over a Six
month period, I say this, as you did assess your client with an
Antisocial
Personality
Disorder.
Saunder’s smiles. “And
that is why I am here speaking to you. I needed to clear up some of
the dilemmas I had with this file. However, I do feel that
spiritual elements were sincere, I mean there are…” She looks
down at the file resting on her knees. “...pages of dialogue, she
seemed very knowledgeable, particularly on why she has these rituals
with alcohol and even sex, which was also brought up. But, yes you
raised a very interesting point, we detected, as I mentioned,
manipulation. I have to read you this, an email that I received
from the psychologist after their last session. It was also their
final brief.
“...Just an extra
observation after my final session with Ms Zabel, which was from a
professional perspective. Her interaction with me was slightly odd
and more so allaying to what we both discussed as a manipulative
element of Ms Zabel’s personalty. At the end of the session, we
discussed the six
months that I and her had seen each other. We went through every
month as a count, she lead this and I observed,
her
dialogue is as follows:
“It
was a very informative time, thank you. So it was six
months right?”
To which I replied “yes”, she then counted chronologically, using
the fingers of her left hand, from March to August. She watched me
clench my hands together when she said August, my engagement ring is
on my left hand. Leaving my office, she said,
“I
hope you have a nice wedding in August of next year.”
This interaction was off
the record.”
Elkman chuckles. “A
psychopathic oracle.”
Saunder’s also laughs
quietly. “Could it be a first?”
“If she is no danger to
herself or anybody else, but yes, a first. I can’t recall having a
client like this and I have to reiterate that you both made the
appropriate diagnoses.”
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